81: Tricia Goyer | Calming Angry Kids

Grace Enough Podcast EP. 81: Tricia Goyer on calming angry kids

Tricia Goyer | Calming Angry Kids

Tricia Goyer is the author of more than 75 books. She writes both fiction and nonfiction related to family and parenting.

This USA-Today Best-selling Author has won a two Carol Awards and a Retailer’s Best Award. She was also an ECPA Gold-Medallion and a Christy Award Finalist.

A beloved author of Amish fiction, as well, having written the Big Sky and Seven Brides for Seven Bachelors series. She has spoken at events such as MomCon, Raising Generations, and Teach Them Diligently conferences and is host of the podcast, Walk It Out.

A homeschooling mom of ten, including seven by adoption, Tricia is a doting grandmother and wife to John. With a busy life she understands the importance of making every word count.

Tricia Goyer joins me to talk about tools she uses to help calm angry kids.  She is the mom of 10 and has experience with biological children, foster children, and adopted children.

Questions Tricia and I Discussed:

  1. (5:56) Your story is saturated with the love and grace of God, so I don’t know where to begin besides asking you to share a bit of your faith journey with us?
  2. (16:36) As a 17 year old you prayed, “God, I have screwed up big time. If you can do anything with my life please do” and He has done so much. What are some of the ways you have experienced God’s answer to that prayer?
  3. (20:51) You are a momma to 10 and have the experience of single parenting, biological children, foster children and adoptive children.  With that said I know you have experienced a range of personalities, so we are going to hone in on the message of one of your many books, “How to Calm Angry Kids.” Share with us a few things you have learned about anger 
  4. (30:40) What are the typical responses when anger rises in a child and why is it important to identify the typical response of each of our children?
  5. (36:26) What are some ways we can help our children process the emotion of anger?
  6. (39:58) Our home environment matters and sometimes as parents we don’t realize the environment is increasing the anxiety and anger response in our children.  What are some common environmental factors that parents can identify and adjust to help create a more calming environment?

Quotes to Remember:

“When you acknowledge their emotions, then they’re able to jump from the reactions to the conversation and move from the emotional part of their brain back to the thinking part.”

“Three ways [ respond in anger]  are flight, fight and freeze, and so flight is they’re just going to take off because the emotions are so overwhelming….Fight is they’re going to stand their ground, the adrenaline’s pumping and they’re going to fight and argue….Freeze is another one I think we don’t recognize as much, but they’re the ones that will withdraw into themselves.”

I really had to remind myself, I don’t do well if someone’s nagging me, but if someone’s praising me and telling me I did a good job I’m gonna do it [well]. So that has made a huge, huge difference in our home environment. When I feel myself wanting to nag I’ll say, what can I praise them for?

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