116: David & Krista Dunham | Eating Disorder Recovery
David & Krista Dunham | Eating Disorder Recovery
David and Krista Dunham join me to discuss eating disorder recovery and their journey through Krista’s eating disorder that is chronicled in their book, Table for Two: Biblical Counsel for Eating Disorders.
Questions Discussed with David & Krista:
- (3:27) Krista, you wrote, “As a Christian, it frustrated me that knowing, loving, and following God hadn’t completely protected me from succumbing to an eating disorder.” Take us back to when you first began to struggle with addictive food behaviors. Share a bit of that journey with us and the struggle that ensued for the next 10 years.
- (6:50) David, what was your experience, as Krista‘s husband, in those early years of her eating disorder?
- (9:31) As we discuss eating disorders, will you share how they parallel addictive habits?
- (12:27) Krista, you write about the importance of the sufferers’ readiness to change. How would you describe your process of readiness?
- (17:19) David, you learned a lot in the process of helping and loving Krista during her recovery. What are some loving and effective ways to support and encourage a loved one in the process of change?
- (21:35) The reality is there are no quick fixes. As a Christian, Krista, you had prayed various prayers, you knew Scripture, but the process was long and hard. What are some ways you began to experience freedom by applying some principles you knew from Scripture?
- (27:58) It is important to identify and confront core issues. Will you share some common core issues of people battling eating disorders and addressing them with the character of God in mind?
- (35:01) As we close out, what would you like to say to the listener who may be personally in the bondage of an eating disorder or walking alongside someone who is in bondage?
Quotes from Eating Disorder Recovery Episode:
K: “[T]here was a point that I discovered it [eating disorder] had more of a hold on me than I had on it.”
K: “I really thought that knowing God, knowing everything I’d learned growing up was going to protect me from something that terrible. I think I had been naive to think people who struggled, just didn’t have the right kind of faith and it really opened my eyes to to something different and even open my eyes to the fact that I thought good morals were the same as being obedient to God.”
D: “When she first divulged this problem, I immediately wanted to be helpful. I was concerned. I cared. But the longer it stretched on, the less confident I felt and the more frustrated I got.”
D: “That seems to describe a lot of people’s experience with eating disorders. What gives them pleasure also causes them to feel trapped and trapped, particularly in cycles of shame.”
D: “I think as a helper, it’s important…to be able to say to the sufferer, ‘This isn’t square one, you’re not starting all the way over. You’re just having a difficult road at the moment.’ Try to keep the focus on moving forward versus feeling like I’ve started all the way back to the beginning.”
K: “I think what really changed for me was just realizing that there’s this slow, steady obedience to getting better and not figuring something out and moving on from it [quickly].”
D: “Peter talks about casting your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. He’s able to be in control, but not just, He’s in control, He also loves us. So it’s better to put control in His hands than to try to hold on to it in our own.”
K: “The premise of our book is that you can’t do it by yourself. And so that would be something I really would want to encourage someone with is that if you’re currently by yourself, and trying to handle whatever you’re struggling with, bring someone in with you, find a helper.”
K: “I should obey, because I love God, I love Jesus. But I’m not going to get it perfect and that was so important for me to understand. That’s not really my job. It was Christ’s job, He took care of it. And so for me to constantly evaluate based on my own perfection is me taking on a role that I wasn’t meant to take on.”
D: “For helpers, I would say, on the one hand, you cannot force your loved one to do anything. You can simply offer to be supportive and loving and caring for them. But at the same time, you’re going to need help to do even that. So get your own support and your own assistance in the process.”
- Book: Table for Two: Biblical Counsel for Eating Disorders
- Diane Langberg, trauma counselor and the 3 T’s
- Book: A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson
- Susan Alexandar Yates | Thriving in Transistion
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